WASHINGTON—It’s a cold March day in the Imperial City, and the streets are full of the usual parade of zombies—politicians, lobbyists, reporters—scurrying through the halls of power like rats gnawing through the last scraps of a once-great empire. The scent of bureaucratic rot clings to the air like cheap perfume, and the Democratic jackals are out for blood.
President Donald J. Trump, in his second term, is back in the saddle, blasting through the corridors of the White House like a deranged gunslinger, undoing the feckless globalist schemes of his predecessor. The economy is groaning back to life despite the meddling of unelected swamp creatures who would rather see it crash just to smear his name in the history books. 151,000 jobs added in February—“a surprise,” the so-called experts say, because these people have spent so long sipping Chardonnay with NPR interns that they no longer understand how an economy functions when it isn’t being strangled by regulations written by people who’ve never had a real job.
And yet, the headlines scream doom.
Jerome Powell, the Fed Chair, shuffles his papers and mumbles about inflation at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business, talking in circles to his fellow cocktail-party Keynesians. He wants to see “more clarity” before cutting interest rates, as if Trump’s tariffs aren’t already forcing manufacturers to return to America, as if the factories aren’t already gearing up for the second wave of industrial dominance. 9,000 new auto jobs in one month. 10,000 manufacturing jobs. These aren’t ghost statistics. This is flesh and blood, men and women rolling up their sleeves and finally getting a fair shake. But no, they don’t want to talk about that.
They’re clutching their pearls over tariffs—oh, how they weep! The same lily-livered economists who let China gut the American heartland now want to warn us about the dangers of making our own steel and building our own cars. They scream about Canada’s 250% tariff on dairy, but when Trump decides to hit back, they call him reckless. Reciprocal tariffs, a logical counterstrike, are somehow an affront to the sacred halls of free trade.
But this isn’t about trade. This is about control.
The same people who spent four years shrieking about Russian collusion now want you to believe that sanctioning Russia is bad because Trump is doing it. They want him to keep the cash pipeline flowing to Ukraine while American veterans sleep on the streets. Now that Trump is pushing for peace, suddenly, the neocons and their media lapdogs have rediscovered their love for endless war.
They don’t care about Ukraine. They don’t care about peace. They care about keeping the machine running, the same war economy that’s lined their pockets for decades.
But there’s a different war brewing in America, and it’s not fought with tanks and missiles. It’s fought with code.
Enter the Digital Patriots
Trump, ever the strategist, isn’t just fighting the war in the streets. He’s taking it online, and Elon Musk is leading the cavalry charge.
The White House Digital Assets Summit—the first of its kind. The bureaucrats clench their fists, their bureaucratic sphincters tightening in horror at the mere thought of a Bitcoin-backed economy. No more manipulation. No more centralized currency games. Just cold, hard, untouchable digital gold, immune to the grubby hands of central planners.
Trump doesn’t just want America to dominate crypto. He wants it to own it.
“Never sell your Bitcoin,” he tells the crowd. And he means it. While Biden’s team was busy dumping billions in seized Bitcoin, handing it back to Wall Street goons at a fraction of its value, Trump is locking it down in a strategic Bitcoin reserve—a digital Fort Knox. The feds already own 200,000 Bitcoin, and under Trump, they’re not letting go. Regulators be damned.
Meanwhile, Senator Elizabeth Warren is having an aneurysm on the Senate floor, screeching about how Elon Musk is somehow going to scam America through X Money—as if people getting ripped off by Venmo and Cash App weren’t already a weekly occurrence. She wants the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) to keep a chokehold on digital transactions, and when the Senate voted to gut her nanny-state rule, she nearly foamed at the mouth.
“Elon wants a get-out-of-jail-free card!” she wailed. Good. Let him have it.
Elon Musk is the greatest asset America has in the fight against digital tyranny. While bureaucratic parasites like Warren and her ilk want to strangle free markets with endless regulation, Musk is ripping the chains off and giving people back their money, their speech, their autonomy.
And that’s why they hate him.
The government doesn’t want you to have control over your money. They want you on a CBDC—a government-tracked slave coin that shuts off the second you don’t obey. Musk, Trump, and the real innovators want to burn that system to the ground before it even gets built.
And they’re winning.
The Real Battle: Science vs. The State
The Stand Up for Science Rally in Washington—a pathetic gathering of self-righteous bureaucrats trying to claw back their funding now that Trump is pulling the plug on their useless grants.
Chris Van Hollen, a two-bit Democrat from Maryland, is shouting about “attacks on science,” blaming Elon Musk for checks notes firing thousands of government scientists who weren’t doing their jobs.
“This has nothing to do with efficiency!” he screams. “This is about rigging the government to serve Elon Musk!”
Good.
Science should serve the bold, the daring, the forward-thinking entrepreneurs, not the glacial blob of bureaucratic stagnation that’s been sucking up taxpayer money while producing nothing of value. Musk doesn’t want woke science. He wants real science—the kind that builds Mars colonies, quantum networks, and yes, better damn rockets.
And that’s what the Democrats fear the most.
They don’t want progress. They want power. They want control over your money, your businesses, your energy, your speech, your time—even your damn clocks.
The Final Insult: Daylight Saving Madness
Senator Tommy Tuberville wants to abolish clock-switching forever, finally ending the biannual lunacy of setting our watches back and forth like confused peasants.
And guess what? The Democrats hate it.
Trump’s on the fence—he calls it a “50/50 issue,” but deep down, he knows it’s a scam.
Time is power, and the government wants to control it. If they can make you reset your life twice a year for no reason, they can make you do anything.
But those days are ending.
Trump, Musk, and the Digital Patriots are tearing apart the last vestiges of the bureaucratic stranglehold. The wars, the tariffs, the economy, the digital future—it’s all coming to a head.
And when the dust settles, it won’t be the bureaucrats left standing.
